Read books. Care about things. Get excited. Try not to be too down on yourself. Enjoy the ever-present game of knowing.
I know how miserable you must be, and I would give ten years of my life to be there to kiss your sweet lips good night.
Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.